Jennifer Anderson used to brag about how happy her marriage was, and how Everyone wanted her super-handsome hubby (including thousands of men!) but that he always came home to her. Seems she underestimated her gorgeous-but very devious friend Angie.....
Manstealers! Trust me ladies, they are amongst you. Some will sit beside you at your own home table and smile in your face -all the while plotting... Rarely will they come off as hating you. Why? Because it's soooo much easier to get to your man, if you are on friendly terms with them. Be aware that the worst thing you can do after an event like this is to decide to hate them forever. Not only will these neg. emotions do your body egregious harm, but your mind will waste so much precious time and energy! Neither one of them will ever be worth the substantial amount of time and energy you are likely to waste on the pain they have caused you...
I remember reading a factual account of one woman's life. And her sister had actually stolen her first husband. Now I remember this book vividly because the woman wasted so much time crying over a man she wasn't even sure she still wanted! He was a slime ball anyway. And her sister, in my eyes was going to get exactly what she had coming. But the jist of it was that IT WAS HER SISTER- The reason it hurt her so bad was because almost no expects your family member to do something so rotten. But the truth is sometimes the people you love are in the perfect place to do you the most harm. Anyway, after a few yrs, she remarries but she refused to speak to her sister, who had a nerve to invite her to the wedding. She declined to go, but almost her whole family did attend and that caused more friction and pain.. It took her a few more yrs to realize that she was holding onto the pain instead of letting it go. Her husband actually made her see when he demanded to know why it still hurt her alter all these years when she had him. They had a big fight and finally decided to move clear across the US....
I think that was the best decision they could have made. If you've ever heard the expression -put some distance between your problems, then you probably know that sometimes a change of scenery is exactly what one may need. It may enable you to see the situation in a whole new light or at least get away from the embarrassing questions many simple-minded people, may ask. And by the way, he was a horrible husband to her sister, and I was glad. But even though karma has a way of catching up with people who do sneaky things like this, let do all we can to prevent it from happening in the first place. Here are some basic rules to drastically lesson the chances of this happening.....
A. Watch the company you keep. There have been several times in my life when a friend/acquaintance left me alone with her man. I have a very innocent looking face, and it tends to get people to put their guards down. Believe me it's gotten me out of many tickets(some well deserved-but that's another story). Anyway, on more than one occasion some of their men have made a move. Never did I give them a chance to even think about it. I let them know immediately that I was not interested-and they should be ashamed. They always backed off, and apologized.
Ladies, that truth is that men are ALWAYS testing the waters, but a lady always conducts herself with class and decorum, and cuts off that nonsense before it begins. Think Diane Carrol, Jackie O, or Princess Grace, to name a few. Imagine how they would handle such impropriety and follow suit.
In other words in polite, but very peremptory language let him know that you would not consider having relations with him, and that you are insulted and enraged that he would try such a thing.
You MUST nip offensive behavior like this in the bud, or trust me, he WILL try again. Never be the type of woman who thinks it's cute to steal a man from someone else. Trust and believe that Karma WILL come around, and when it does it will be ten-fold.
So the point is to make sure you have the kind of friends who WON'T do such a thing. Because some certainly will...
Here are some clues to help you figure out if your friend really is friend or secretly foe.
1.When she comes to your house, does she immediately start to look around and/or ask where your hubby is?
Now if she came to see you, why in the world would she be asking about him? You need to think about that.
2. Do her eyes start dilating the moment he walks into the room? Does her smile become wider? Does her whole face seem to brighten?
When ppl are attracted to others, they tend to give off signals. And any woman who practices her perception can pick them up.
3.Watch the Eyes! They don't call them the windows to the soul for nothing. Turn off your tv sound sometimes and just watch the body language of the actors. Watch how the women who are trying to seduce a man without everyone knowing what she is doing, will position her body. Chances are she will get very close to him, usually ignoring proper boundaries( this is a common police procedure because it tends to disorient ppl-when you get right in their space) If he is getting her a drink, she may touch his hand as he gives her the glass, or rub his arm in a seemingly friendly way. As he looks up in surprise. She will often stare deep into his eyes, and smile slowly. Her msg is:
'Your wife may not think your something special -but I do-maybe she's just too blind to see it...
Even the most obtuse man will get the msg loud and clear, but hopefully he will have enough honor to walk away....
Here are some other clues about MS's
They tend to come over alot. More than is comfortable, and somehow right around the time your hubby gets home-imagine that!
They tend to dress better, smell better, and look better when their intended is near. Now all women with sense do this, but the difference is she will be doing this for someone else's man instead of her own...
She will often initiate conversations with him so she can bring you up. The point of this is two fold. 1. she can find out what's going on in your relationships (ie where are the deficits that she can exploit) and 2. She wants to become the confidante. I think I have told you ladies before NEVER let another woman become YOUR MAN"S CONFIDANTE! I don't care if she is butt ugly and has 1 tooth! Since the beginning of time men have fallen in love the women they can tell all their deepest, darkest secrets to! The reason for this is simple. Women often have many ppl they can talk to about everything. When something happens in our lives, We try to remember the details so we can tell all our friends and some family members. Men, on the other hand, often CANNOT tell their friends too much without their friends interjecting, making jokes or trying to shut them up. The need to share his thoughts and feelings is almost as strong as the need to breathe for many men because they never get to do it. This is why a woman who allows them to really talk, will draw them like a moth to a flame. Why do you think every year So many secretaries are able to steal so many husbands!
But just like ppl come in different shapes and sizes, so do manstealers They do not all look or act alike... Here are some of the different kinds....
A. The newer version Man stealer:
Her philosophy is: I'm younger, hotter, sexier than your wife- and it's time you traded up. This kind of man stealer will only be successful on men who would have probably cheated on you anyway. She's pretty obvious so it's not like anyone is going to mistaken her intention. And she's usually so stupid, superficial, and one dimensional that most men quickly tire of her anyway. Usually only whorish, or desperately unhappily married men will take her up on the offer.....
B. The fake wife-friend Man stealer:
Her philosophy is: "Your wife thinks I'm her friend, and if she's too stupid to know I'm really after you, then she deserves this!" This is the kind I described above, and below.
She will often try to get you to tell you what is wrong in your marriage, so she can exploit it. Her main tool is to take information and blow it up till it implodes the marriage she has her eye on. She then walks happily away with the husband....You will know this kind because she constantly fishes for info. She always seems to come when you are trying to be alone with hubby, and often will pretend that she does not know she's in the way. She will also accidentally let little tidbits fall from her mouth, that cause problems in your marriage. I once worked with a pretty black girl who seemed very innocent and naive, but it was just an act. She was a friend of an older ww named Linda, and that is how she obtained the position. One day she asked Linda if she would marry her husband Henry, again, if she could do it again. Linda thought about it, and answered no sadly. At this Jill sat her down gave her a tissue and asked her to explain. Linda unwisely poured out her heart and told her every problem they had been having as of late (even in the bedroom! Jill actually jumped up and gave her a sympathetic hug. A few weeks later, Linda came in with her face red from crying. She said that Jill had been coming over to her house regularly, even after she asked her to stop. And that last night she had made it a point to come to her house under some ridiculous work excuse. And as she pranced and flirted with Linda's husband (right in front of her!) she had let it slip what Linda had saying about his brm performance. Not only did her husband hit the roof, but he then went on to tell Linda that if he had it to do again, He'd marry someone beautiful like Jill instead a has been like her! Soon after Linda's marriage fell apart, and who do you think happily stole him away? Be careful who you tell all your problems to, this is one of the most common ms's......
C. The He's only a pal, Manstealer: This is the one Secretaries often use
Her philosophy is: He's too damn good for her-but he's just right for me! She will often work with him, and initiate lots of time with him. She will be his 'ear' and make him feel like no one in the world understands him better. She will let him talk and talk and talk. Because she is as sneaky as she is smart. She knows that if you let a man talk enough, he will begin to tell his secrets, as he tells secrets he grows closer and closer to his confidante, and the rapport will inevitably grow. Falling in love is just a few steps past great rapport. It's very easy for a skilled woman to get a man to talk his way into love with her. It's really not very hard at all. And the more he is starved for good conversation/understanding the easier it will be. Many women leave their men wide open because they don't LISTEN to them. He tries to tell his wife about work and she's arguing with the kids. He tries to talk about something deep and personal, and brushes it off because her show is on.... Don't leave your husband open to the man-pal manstealers. If you don't have time then, simply make some time later, and really talk and listen to him....
D. The Damsel in distress-Manstealer: Now pay attention ladies because wm are particularly vulnerable to this one! Why because many of them love to be the knight in shining armor. This manstealer knows how to play this role to the hilt. She will usually be young because it works much better on young women. She will have a big problem -that only he can seem to solve" She will show up or call and oh so sweetly ask if he can help her. Her car won't start or her kids need a man talk etc. She will make it seem like a coincidence she just happened to be where your hubby is, and he happened to be the only man around who could help her.... This is the type who will drop things as he passes, or carry loads too heavy in front of him, it goes on and on, but you get the picture. She will know from experience exactly how to bring out his protective instincts and she will play on it... The way to get rid of her is to tell her point blank, you know what she's up to, and she better look elsewhere. I remember being a child in Hawaii. We lived on the island of Oahu. My parents had a party for thanksgiving one year and gave an open invitation to anyone who wanted to come. Well a young wg came, 18 and immediately took a shine to my very handsome father. She kept smiling up at him and telling him how smart and handsome he was. she laughed at all his jokes and told him she had not had such a wonderful meal in ages (my dad had cooked the entire meal-He was a fantastic cook) She mentioned that she was too poor to ever eat like this and how lucky my mom was to find such a man like him. I looked at daddy's face, and he was eating it up, and it was obvious he felt sorry for her when she mentioned that she was poor. My mom was getting more and more irritated but said nothing. Over the coming weeks, this girl showed up at the house and daddy insisted on taking her where she needed to go, or helping her out with whatever. He and my mom began to quarrel over her, especially when my mom found out he was giving her food and had lent her 200.00! One day the girl was at the house when we pulled up. Daddy was not home yet so my mom jumped from the car and confronted her. She told her that she had been married to this man almost as many yrs as she had been alive, and that if she wanted to stay alive, she had better stay away from her husband! That was the last we ever saw of her. But I'm convinced that if my mom had not put her foot down, that girl WOULD have walked away with my father.....
E. The I share your passion-Manstealer This kind of manstealer goes right to the heart of the man. She knows exactly what makes his heart pound and she will make sure she is right there to share it with him. She may not be so attractive, but she has learned to make her personality work, because she is often quite plain in the face. Think of Bruce Springsteen. His first wife was an adorable looking girl who was quite content to go to his shows once in a while and bask in his name, fame, and money the rest of the time. Now there is nothing wrong with this, except that you have women like his second wife, who knows that he lives and breathe music. So how did she steal him? She rocked out with him. She SHARED HIS PASSION! Look at the following 2 pics a picture speaks a thousand words. Now as you can see wife #1 was much cuter, but wife #2 knew exactly how to pull his strings
Sharing a man's passion is a very powerful force! I think Juliane wife #1 probably underestimated Patti wife #2 because she was not very attractive. It was a grave mistake.....Regardless of what it is. If he really believe in it with all his heart and soul, and you can take it or leave it, trust and believe, another woman is waiting to take him, and leave you, alone....
